hotel room ftw
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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