We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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