Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
