the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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