Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
