I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
smell my finger.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I stole a fireplace last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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