You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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