Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
