I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
