There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
