We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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