margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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