After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
