Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
