I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
