some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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