Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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