Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
