I just saw a hot homeless man
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
