You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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