Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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