i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
