I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
nutella sex= disaster
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
