So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
