remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
