He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I wear drunk well.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
