When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
