I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
