Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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