i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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