Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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