i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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