Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
