I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
