did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
