Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
