We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
