In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
