You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
