i permit you to call me
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
