Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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