I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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