margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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