I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
