Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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