U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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