It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
