Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
