dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
