what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
