Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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