So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
