She even gives head with a lisp.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
