Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
