if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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