my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
