i think my tv is drunk
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
